Realization

I awoke from a dream that had entered my soul
and pulled at my heart til I cried
I stopped at a realization I had
that I had to live life, not just live to survive
So I climbed out of bed and I sat on my own
thinking and pausing and thinking some more
Wanting an answer for something unknown
But finding more questions; so I stood from the floor
Then I sat down to write you but knew not what to say
My fingers lay calmly and still on my keys
I tried to find words but found tears on the way
for things I had done, to you and to me
What can I say to make up for the past?
The fact that I loved you, and never let you know
What can I do to feel happy again?
Admit my mistakes, learn from them, and let go
I want to be bold, make life worth it again
Tell everyone just how I feel in my heart
Would you listen? Would you know, that I meant every word?
Or would everything I know simply all fall apart?
I want to feel better, not pessimistic and low
But something is holding me back it seems
I somehow how found words to the letter I sent
But the lack of response still lingers in me
So here I sit now, still wondering how
I can make my sweet dream come to life
Yet wondering is part of the answer I feel
as it gives me the strength that I need to get by
But is getting by all that I want? No, No!
I need to be living each day instead
And loving each moment, and feeling each breath
as it brings hope for a future that I dreamt in my head
Hope for a future where I'm not alone
Hope for a future with beauty and truth
Hope for a future that is all my own
Hope for a future with you.